Continuing to help access care in 2023, thank you for your input and shared comments here and the ones I received on social media and privately on my most recent story on Pain News Network.
Please understand this was not just one or a few experiences. This is 16 years in my case, and I kept MOST of it off the internet. There are 1.5 billion people worldwide that live with chronic pain. My choice to do this differently is not about one support group or the person who did me wrong. For me, there have been police involved, restraining orders, and people showing up at my home address (which, because of my leadership position, was public). People and organizations have been stealing my creations and putting their names on them, people pretending to be my friend.
When I asked for help on something personal (which was rare), they were all of a suddenly gone from my life, only around when they could get something from me, other people straight up lying to me because they didn’t want to lose my friendship, etc. I have received multiple messages of apologies since making this announcement of people admitting what they did, and their reason was they didn’t want to lose my friendship, support, or assistance. They knew I knew, and I knew I knew, but they still would lie about it.
My Take
I also learned to take on everything with a ‘grain of salt.’ Should I have fought back publicly, done something terrible, and named names and actions publicly? Maybe, but I chose a different way for my reasons for being in a leadership role were different; it was a position I was voted into, and I was a volunteer. I believe I am on earth for a purpose (we all are), and this was part of fulfilling my purpose.
I will continue to fulfill my earthly purpose and do it differently. There are a million ways to accomplish something. I realized a long time ago that hurting people can hurt people. Some do it subconsciously; some do it very consciously. I also know it’s part of human nature, and I never expect it to stop. I realized that most of it came down to a lack of communication, unwillingness to communicate, or laziness.
If I want to change, it’s up to me to make the change I need. So I continue to recalibrate, assess and grow.
I also wanted to stop the rumor mill and make my statement because fake stuff gets spread daily. It’s reality vs. real.
In Conclusion
As I said above, I will keep working on helping the pain community, just not in a leadership role. I will show all who care to watch it has nothing to do with leadership positions we may or may not hold; we all have something to add, being part of the pain community, which none of us asked for.
I know in my heart, mind, and soul that we will all know and understand what we don’t today one day. In this life or the next, we will all get the view and understanding and know what we don’t know/understand in each situation. I hold on to that peace as I go forward. I wish everyone success in all good things as we work for access to care for all! Hope is True, Barby